


What if...

by Tarlosformeplease



Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Carlos hurt, I'm so sorry, M/M, Sad, Shooting, everyone hurt, tk hurt, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:33:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23871676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlosformeplease/pseuds/Tarlosformeplease
Summary: What if TK didn't survive the shooting in episode 1x08.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand, Judd Ryder/TK Strand, Marjan Marwani & TK Strand, Mateo Chavez & TK Strand, Paul Strickland & TK Strand, TK Strand/Owen Strand
Comments: 13
Kudos: 67





	What if...

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling sad and just watched that episode again. Got an idea and now we're here. I'm so sorry for this, you don't really have to read this. Just getting my frustration out.

''TK are you hit!''

''TK?''

''TK!''

\---

(Marjan)

The whole room was dark and everyone were silent, expect for the crying. The figure on the bed laid there still without moving, face pale and blank. The mouth which always had a smirk on it was closed and there weren't any signs of that happy smile of the young firefighter. TK was dead and Marjan couldn't really think how this could have happened to one of the sweetest guy on their team. 

She could see the painful look on her captains face and the wet cheeks of Carlos'. She couldn't take it anymore. Marjan couldn't see his friend and brother lying there motionless and pale. Knowing the fact that he would never wake up again. She needed to get away from that room so she ran. Marjan felt the looks on her back but she didn't care. 

She ran outside the hospital and leaned on a tree letting her stomach to empty itself on the grass. The tears were falling down her cheeks and she just wanted to crash on the ground and lay there. All Marjan really wanted was that TK would be fine and just let that goofy smile spread on his face when he sees her. But she won't ever see that smile again, it felt like an distant memory now and it didn't even feel real anymore. 

Marjan remembered all the times TK had been there for her. When she fell down on that corn tank and how TK had just fearlessly jumped to catch her to be dragged down with her. 

She remembered the time TK had stood up for her when they were at a bar after their shift. Marjan had just wanted to get something to drink but the bartender had pretended that he didn't even see her. Then TK had come next to her and getting some information on that man's head. Marjan smiled at the memory. 

She wanted to remember TK like that. Standing up for everyone and giving them joy just by their smile. That's what she wanted to remember even thought it hurt. Nothing would feel the same anymore. 

\---

(Mateo)

Mateo watched as Marjan ran away from the room but he was too shocked to move anywhere. He turned his gaze back to TK and watched his pale face, thinking that this couldn't be happening to someone like him. TK was supposed to be the one who would make everyone smile, not feel like the world is ending. 

TK had been very nice to him and Mateo couldn't feel more grateful for how he had given him an opportunity to become a part of their family. Mateo didn't like the way he had called him probie, but he would give everything if he could hear that coming from TK's mouth, even once more. 

Mateo felt the tears form in his eyes and he didn't fear to let them show. He felt them fall on to his cheeks and soon he was an crying mess on the floor, when his knees gave in. Paul saw that and was quickly wrapping his arms around him. 

He remembered how TK had helped him study by recording his reading. Everyone else did that too for him but somehow TK's voice was so soothing. It made him learn everything faster. He remembered those many dance moments during their shifts. How they had had so much fun together. 

Mateo couldn't even think how he would survive without his friend and brother. 

\---

(Paul) 

Wrapping his arms around Mateo, Paul finally let the tears fall from his eyes. TK's body haunted his mind and he was sure he wouldn't sleep for a while, cause every time he closed his eyes he saw TK being shot. Bleeding to death in front of him and Michelle trying her best trying to save his life. 

TK was someone who accepted people as they were and he didn't judge them. He didn't judge Paul for being trans and he did everything he could that Paul could feel welcome in this new team. 

The night TK and Carlos had gone to that bar with him was the best night of his life. Partying and having fun with his friends. He remembered TK laughing and dancing with Carlos. How happy he had looked when he had seen that Paul had found someone. 

TK was the one who made everyone feel welcome and save. Now that feeling would be gone forever and Paul didn't have anyone to workout with, joke around or try to make food failing with it every time.

It was all gone now, nothing would be the same anymore and nothing could fix it. Nothing...

\---

(Judd)

Marjan's sudden disappearing had brought Judd back from his thoughts. He gave a small squeeze on TK's cold leg before leaving from the room to find the lost girl. Every breath hurt him and he was aching all around him. Why was TK shot? He's the big brother, it was supposed to be him. Why didn't he go first? Judd blamed himself of what happened and right now he just wanted to go home to hug his wife tight, but he couldn't. Judd needed to be the strongest now. Cap won't be like himself anymore and now Judd had to keep everyone save. 

He found Marjan sitting outside the hospital in the rain. The tree she was leading on was small but strong, just like TK had been. 

Judd walked to Marjan and knelt in front of her wrapping his arms around her. She was soaking wet but Judd didn't care. He helped her up an led him back inside. He helped Marjan to sit on one of the chairs and gave her his jacket, placing it on her shoulders.

Marjan's face was blank and the tear stains were there to stay. She didn't even bother to wipe them away. Judd sat next to her, taking her hand to his. They didn't say anything, they just sat there in silence. When Judd saw the familiar dark skinned woman walk in front of him. He jumped up and wrapped his arms around Grace, letting himself cry on her shoulder. 

TK had been like little brother to him and Judd had sworn to keep him safe. Seeing TK lying on that hospital bed, dead. It brought all the memories from when his whole team had died in front of him. He was supposed to be there for TK but he had failed big time and he would never forgive himself for that. 

\---

(Carlos)

'' _Mi amór, I'm so sorry'',_ Carlos says and kisses TK's cold forehead. He took TK's hand to his ans squeezed tight. This was his fault and he knew it. Carlos knew about the gun, but he was too busy with the man with dementia. He had forgotten to tell about it and now the love of his life was dead. 

The flashbacks of TK walking to that house still haunted his mind. He was supposed to go to talk to captain Strand, but he forgot. The picture of TK blood coming from his chest and mouth had made Carlos feel like he had had an heart attack. It was his fault TK was now dead and his father would never forgive him. Carlos has taken something from him and now he was sure that no one would ever talk to him because of that. 

Memories of TK from when they had first met flew back to his mind. How TK had agreed to go dancing with him and how good he really was at it. The beautiful smile that always formed to his lips when he saw him. No it was all gone and he couldn't do anything about it. 

They were supposed to be at dinner tonight. They were supposed to be happy together, grow old together and maybe start a family when TK felt ready. If Carlos was true to himself he had to admit that he didn't even see an future without TK. It had all wiped away when TK's heart stopped in front of his eyes and it never started to beat again. 

Everything had seemed fine and TK was supposed to make a full recovery, but something had gone wrong. Carlos was sitting next to him holding his hand when it happened. TK's heart stopped. He didn't breathe anymore and Carlos was taken away from the room. Michelle was there then and she had immediately wrapped her arms around him. She was crying too when she whispered to his ear. _''You have to let him go Carlos''._

But Carlos didn't want to let TK go. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with him. He wanted to see that smile once again and he wanted to tell the boy how much he loved him. Now it too late. He couldn't have anything anymore and he felt like he didn't even want to live anymore. But he couldn't do it to the people close to him. Carlos knew that they wouldn't be able to bear the loss of two of their friends in the same day. But one thing was sure, Carlos wouldn't be able to love anyone again. 

He remembered how he had arrested TK few months ago and how TK had been so vulnerable. TK had told him about his addiction and relapse and how he just wanted to go slow. Carlos had felt like someone had hit him with wooden block, when TK had told that to him and he had admitted on the going slow part.

But now the love of his life was lying there pale and cold. His hair was messy like always. He ran his fingers through TK's hair and let the tears fall to TK's face when he reached to kiss him one last time. 

Carlos knew that he had to leave back to work, but he was sure that his captain would understand if he didn't come to work for a while. He wanted to be there as long as possible. He wanted to be there next to TK so he wouldn't feel alone, where ever he was now. 

Carlos wasn't very religious guy but now he prayed that someone was taking care of his precious little angel.

_''I love you my sweet angel, I hope I'll see you again soon''._

\---

(Owen)

Owen felt like he couldn't breathe. He just stared at his son's pale face and he had an death grip on his hand. Owen didn't want to let TK go, he wasn't ready for that. When he had found TK overused in New York, he had felt like his heart had stopped beating. Now when TK was shot the feeling was back again. The doctors had promised that he would be all right. They had lied to him and now his only son was dead in front of him.

Owen didn't even know that his son had been seeing the cop, but now when Carlos had kissed TK's forehead and whispered sweet nothings to his ear it all hit Owen at once. Did he really even know his son? Of course he knew his son, he had to. 

The day TK was born was the happiest day of Owen's life. How he had shed tears of joy when he got to hold him the first time. TK had those beautiful hazel eyes which looked at Owen. He has always been there for his son. When he had said his first words, when he had learned to ride a bike, when he told him that he was gay, his first relapse. Owen had always love his son no matter what and when TK first time told him that he wanted to become firefighter was at the same time the best and scariest day of his life. Of course he wanted TK to follow his footsteps, but he was also scared that he would get hurt. And now he had gotten hurt. Owen felt like it was his fault. It should be him lying in there pale and motionless. Parents shouldn't outlive their children. 

When the nurse came to take TK to the morgue, Owen's heart shattered. He held TK's hand even harder, he didn't want to let go. The nurse said that he had to let TK go, but Owen didn't want to. 

_''No!_ '' He had shouted and Carlos had to come to lay his hand on top of Owen's. Owen turned his head to meet Carlos' red eyes and watery cheeks and finally he let go. The nurse pulled the white cloak in front of TK's face and took him away. 

That's when Owen lost it. The tears he was holding were now streaming down his face. Owen saw Judd, Grace and Marjan come back to the room and soon enough he felt their arms around him. The whole 126 was hugging him and Carlos was holding his hand tight, crying. 

All Owen felt was emptiness. He had lost his son, who he had promised to look after. He had failed and now the only thing that mattered to him was gone. And it was his fault.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if you use the saying ''being hit with a wooden block'' in England. Basically it's an Finnish saying: ''Olla kuin puulla päähän lyöty'', which means like you hear something you didn't know and it like makes you think differently.
> 
> But yeah. Hope you liked this. I know it was a bit harsh, but like I said i didn't really feel like myself when I got this idea. I hope you guys are safe and stay healthy. Love ya...


End file.
